Liner Notes

I am someone who is always listening to music. This may sound like an exaggeration, but if you know me, you know it's a bit of a problem. You'll often find me curled up at my desk at work, a thousand papers scattered across the surface and one pesky earbud poorly hidden beneath my hair.

Music is the one outlet (other than writing) that helps me regain control over my messy emotions. Which means that I have been listening to an excessive amount of music while rediscovering myself this year. These are the top songs that have gotten me through the last few months.

1.) "Sailor Song" by Gigi Perez

"She took my fingers to her mouth, the kind of thing that makes you proud that nothing else had ever worked out."

This song made me believe in love again. I remember walks to work in the early winter; my bag weighed down by my newest romance book while this song played on a loop. It reminds me of the last snowfall of 2024, and how the hazy quiet was peaceful enough that I took a deep breath and felt the moment. It's all over, I realized, staring at the black concrete, slick with slush. I could almost see my reflection. It's all over, I thought again, and this time, I felt relieved.

brrrr? i guess?

2.) "Silver Springs" by Fleetwood Mac.

"You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you."

Sometimes life makes you feel like that clip of Stevie Nicks half-screaming this song at Lindsey Buckingham in '97. My Spotify DJ ensured that I rediscovered this song over my birthday weekend, and it was eerily fitting, as I experienced divine levels of anger within those 72 hours. But anger can be productive when you don't let it control you. Anger reminds you of your worth. I still cling to a fragment of that today to remind myself that it's okay to not be a doormat. People can walk a different path that isn't all over you.

went for the daisy jones pose

3.) "Vienna" by Billy Joel.

"You're so ambitious for a juvenile, but if you're so smart, then tell me, why are you still so afraid?"

Do you feel like you're running out of time? When I was 16, I constantly imagined my twenties. I would be living in Los Angeles or New York City, set to publish my first novel, finished with my MFA by 23 and in love with a person that I'd want to be with forever. I'm 24 now, and I feel the clock ticking as I stay in my same old city, months away from finishing my MA and cleaning up debris from past relationships. This song reminds me to be patient. Breathe. Be present. It'll all happen when it happens, however it plays out.

my poor, decrepit journal (december 2023 - ???)

4.) "Snap Out Of It" by Arctic Monkeys.

"It sounds like settling down, or giving up, but it don't sound much like you."

I heard this song for the first time in quite awhile back in March. It seared the Arctic Monkeys obsession so deep into my brain that I bought a record player so I could also purchase the AM vinyl. But it was also a moment of truth for me. I'd loved this song as a teenager because I thought of myself as the type of person to never settle or give up. As an adult, it's shockingly easy to accept things that aren't good for you. Sometimes you need a reality check.

pretty sure the vinyl was playing here :D

5.) "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived" by Taylor Swift.

"And you deserve prison, but you won't get time. You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars."

This song played on a loop while I walked to work a few days ago. I'd spent the night before burning incense, chain-smoking, and playing Cigarettes After Sex vinyls until late in the evening. I was very aware of my sleep deprivation, but I'd been too angry to rest. That's the thing about anger; it's as non-linear as grief. Years will pass, and you'll think you're over it. And then you're reminded. For me, usually it's the horror that I let anyone treat me that way. Not very on-brand of me.

in spite of it all, life is still beautiful

6.) "Dizzy On the Comedown" by Turnover.

"Would you come here and spin with me? I've been dying to get you dizzy."

A friend recommended this song to me at work. That day, I was in a rough place after making impulsive life choices that I already regretted. Everything was moving so fast, but this song slowed it down. It reminded me that, as hopeless as life can feel, there's never any end to discovering music and art. I went home that night and listened to the full album, but this song remained my favorite. Maybe because it still reminds me of that February afternoon -- and how things are never as dire as they seem.

i have an atrocious memory and had to snap a pic!

7.) "Look at Us Now (Honeycomb)" by Daisy Jones and the Six.

"This thing we've been doing ain't working out, why can't you just admit it to me?"

I was obsessed with this album (and the show/novel) back in summer '23 -- freshly back from a prolonged trip to LA, in the midst of starting a new job and moving into a new apartment. I'd listen to the vinyl for hours, until I was half-worried it might shatter from all the times I flipped it. When I started living alone again, I looked to this album for solace. Aside from the horrific realization that I identified with Billy Dunne a little too much, it was reassuring to feel seen. Even if it was just me, seeing myself.

slowly annotating my poor tattered copy

8.) "Just like Heaven" by The Cure.

"Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days."

So there was this project at work last fall. They paired me up with someone I didn't usually work with, but despite my original anxieties, it was the most I'd laughed in months. It was unnerving. I'd spent the night before crying my eyes out at my desk, unable to find the light at the end of the tunnel anymore, and then it just appeared. I remember walking out, the other person quick on my heels while this song played on the speakers. And I realized I wanted more moments spent laughing.

Four months later, I heard it again -- this time during my birthday dinner, while I was laughing with friends. Everything had come full-circle.

long walks in october !!!

I don't know where I'll be months from now, or what songs I'll discover then. But I do know this: I’ll be walking, headphones in, listening for whatever comes next.

Which songs have gotten you through the difficult moments in your life? I'm always looking for recommendations, so don't hesitate to drop a few! And for anyone who may need a musically-inclined guiding hand, this Spotify playlist is for you: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/21i82uTbHDbskck0qZILOP?si=1e5e8aa2895640eb

As always, thank you for reading!

Until next time,

Jeanette :)